Well I’ll be goddamned if the queen doesn’t look like a zombie locked in the back seat of a car.

If you’re thinking zombies don’t smile, think again. In this photo, she’s rolling through Singapore. Singapore is part of Asia. There are approximately 3,917,508,000 brains in Asia.

Dinner is on.

Sergeant Major Rachel Rebekah Sarvis and I are both taking Spanish E-1Y; we often study for quizzes together. Sgt. Sarvis extended me an invitation to the annual MIT ROTC Military Ball. Suffice to say that I accepted, figuring it was a once in a lifetime offer.

Sgt. Sarvis and I are in the war room.

Because of Sgt. Sarvis’ rank, or maybe because she brought a guy with a pink tie to the ball, we were seated at the front table along with the highest ranking general at the event. I dined straight across the round table from the esteemed General Davenport, who was probably in his mid 70s. The old bastard ate his salad about twice as fast as I did mine. When it came to the stuffed chicken breast, I put the old fool to rest. My massive food hole did the majority of the work; I may have even been the first one at the table to finish(not too bad considering how much bigger some of these guys are than me).

I tried to hold Captain Kennedy’s hand. She hurt me.

The dancing was very minimal. It was more like:

1.)Drink alcohol in the MIT ROTC building (I missed most of this)
2.)Drink alcohol in Hyatt lobby
3.)Stand up really straight and look at people carry flags around
4.)Pray
5.)Toast people (Prez Bush included)!
6.)Eat Dinner
7.)Listen to ex-brass give horrible speech (it was piss poorly written and delivered)
8.)Pray
9.)Stand up straight again and watch people take flags out of room
10.)Drink more alcohol
11.)Music starts
12.)Leave
13.)Go to bar and drink yet more alcohol
14.)Find a different bar and drink alcohol (I had to leave before I got to bar #2… Bummer!)

Do you have what it takes?

You were loved and we will miss you.

Okay, I might sound rather cynical about this military ball business. But honestly, I did have a good time. How often does a leftist-pinko-commie-queer-friendly-jerky-nut like myself get to go hang out with the military elite? At least once in this lifetime :)