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Macabre British Humor

May 11th, 2006

BBC

Check out the first and second ‘Other Top Stories’

Top Stories

Lately

April 11th, 2006

I am busy these days… I apologize for the lack of interesting shit here. I’ve been blogging for a conference called Beyond Broadcast, as well as finishing up school.

In other news, I’m excited for people to try the latest version of Democracy, which is *vastly* improved. I would say that Telemusicvision is finally ‘watchable.’

If something worth talking about happens to me, expect to see it here.

Queen Elizabeth: I want to eat your brain

March 22nd, 2006

Well I’ll be goddamned if the queen doesn’t look like a zombie locked in the back seat of a car.

If you’re thinking zombies don’t smile, think again. In this photo, she’s rolling through Singapore. Singapore is part of Asia. There are approximately 3,917,508,000 brains in Asia.

Dinner is on.

Dinner’s on Sam Tonight

March 13th, 2006

Sergeant Major Rachel Rebekah Sarvis and I are both taking Spanish E-1Y; we often study for quizzes together. Sgt. Sarvis extended me an invitation to the annual MIT ROTC Military Ball. Suffice to say that I accepted, figuring it was a once in a lifetime offer.

Sgt. Sarvis and I are in the war room.

Because of Sgt. Sarvis’ rank, or maybe because she brought a guy with a pink tie to the ball, we were seated at the front table along with the highest ranking general at the event. I dined straight across the round table from the esteemed General Davenport, who was probably in his mid 70s. The old bastard ate his salad about twice as fast as I did mine. When it came to the stuffed chicken breast, I put the old fool to rest. My massive food hole did the majority of the work; I may have even been the first one at the table to finish(not too bad considering how much bigger some of these guys are than me).

I tried to hold Captain Kennedy’s hand. She hurt me.

The dancing was very minimal. It was more like:

1.)Drink alcohol in the MIT ROTC building (I missed most of this)
2.)Drink alcohol in Hyatt lobby
3.)Stand up really straight and look at people carry flags around
4.)Pray
5.)Toast people (Prez Bush included)!
6.)Eat Dinner
7.)Listen to ex-brass give horrible speech (it was piss poorly written and delivered)
8.)Pray
9.)Stand up straight again and watch people take flags out of room
10.)Drink more alcohol
11.)Music starts
12.)Leave
13.)Go to bar and drink yet more alcohol
14.)Find a different bar and drink alcohol (I had to leave before I got to bar #2… Bummer!)

Do you have what it takes?

You were loved and we will miss you.

Okay, I might sound rather cynical about this military ball business. But honestly, I did have a good time. How often does a leftist-pinko-commie-queer-friendly-jerky-nut like myself get to go hang out with the military elite? At least once in this lifetime :)

Pedal Strike

February 4th, 2006

I’m kicking my own ass for not having taken a picture of my face when it was smeared with the black of the street! However, all is not lost…

I am on an extremely short jaunt (about five blocks) to meet my amigo, Saul, at the Utrecht store on Mass. Ave. I am fresh off Spanish class and it is a really fucking nice night. I generally never ride bike with my mp3 player on my person, but a mere five blocks stands between myself and Utrecht.

I deftly navigate my bike between a jam of slow moving cars and accelerate down the hill on Bow St. Tim Harrington, of Les Savy Fav, is hollering in my ears as I lean forward and pedal hard. I approach Mt. Auburn and see nothing but green encouraging me to hit the left at a good clip (both streets are one way). I’m rolling at about 20 miles per hour, and as I hit the corner, I shift my weight hard to the left.

Many of you know that I am riding a fixed gear bike–one of the dangers being pedal strike (my pedals do not coast–if I lean too sharply into a turn, my pedal will contact the pavement at the bottom of its stroke).

As my left pedal cracks the blacktop, my bike whips itself out from under me. Before I realize where I’m headed, my left thigh and face impact the pavement. I’m up quickly and notice that my glasses are lying about eight feet ahead of me on the road. I rush forward, scoop up my glasses and then hop back and slide my bike onto the shoulder. There is no more Les Savy Fav.

Cars roll past as a pedestrian asks if I’m okay. I stammer, “I think so?” as I put my glasses on. I feel my already bigish lips becoming even more pronounced as I ride my bike at a limping pace the final two blocks to Utrecht. Saul isn’t there yet, so I pull my mp3 player out of my pocket and try turning it on–it doesn’t work anymore.

Saul rides up on this sweet little chopper (not the kind we’re used to–this one is cute and nice looking!) and inquires as to my safety. I tell him I’m okay, and then he explains that the black smudged on my nose and smeared into my lips make me look like a beaten clown with half a makeup job.

The aftermath: About ten seconds after scrubbing soap into my face, I am pissed that I didn’t have Saul snap a shot–I look truly ludicrous! I am still shaky and shell shocked, and am worthless for about an hour. After I mellow out, Saul and I rehearse our lines for a while (Saul is being a real champ and is donating his time and brainpower to a series of Telemusicvision PSAs). Before I leave, I decide to see if my mp3 player is truly dead (I have some files that I want to drop on Saul’s computer). After about two minutes of pressing buttons and poking the reset switch with a needle, I settle on pronouncing my faithful perhipheral dead. Literally right before I stow the player back into my bag, I give the power button a final try and the device lights up! So I transfer the files, and lazy back home on my bike (the night was really too nice to do otherwise).

In the end, I’ve got a scraped mp3 player, one tiny nick on one lens of my glasses, better defined lips, a rip in my best pair of jeans, and an mp3 player shaped bruise on my left thigh. Not too bad, all things considered (click on the thumbnails to see larger photos).